Settling & Traveling

We are now settled into our apartment in our home state. A big 'ole THANKS to so many of you who donated home furnishings. A special thanks to Greg and Josh who spent time helping with repairs.

Anna graduates from high school this month. For the past 2 years, she has lived with some friends who have been surrogate parents more than merely hosts to Anna. We are very grateful for the time and energy that they have invested in loving our daughter. Anna will attend the local university in the fall to study equine business and join the rowing team.

I will visit leaders and friends in Lebanon, Egypt, Jordan, and Israel this month. A special thanks to Alex for allowing me to use one of his Delta buddy passes to fly stand-by. Please ask God to use me to both challenge and encourage these men as we discuss training parents and reproducible church planting. Please also pray for my wife and the kids as I will be away for almost one month.

Grateful For Donors Who Give Sacrificially

One of my favorite things to do is take our younger kids to visit those of you who have supported us financially over the years. Let me tell you about 3 visits this past week...


1) Last weekend we watched a parade with a retired teacher who served with FCA and his wife. How did he know each of the younger kids' names (as well as the older kids)? Because he prays for our family and many others at 5 am!


2) Last weekend we also visited a young couple with young kids who have supported us for several years. During these years, they themselves have been trying to live and serve among the unreached but it has just not yet worked out. Until God opens that door, he works hard and applies for overseas jobs, she raises young kids, they serve in their local church, and they engage internationals & refugees in gospel conversation.


3) Without the kids, I visited a farmer who works 16-hour days during some months of the year. He wants to cut back on production so that he can spend more time with his family. I also visited a carpenter but only for a few minutes because he and his co-workers were under a deadline. Men like these challenge me to work hard in ministry since they give their hard-earned money to support us.


In preparation for my next trip to the Middle East in May, please tell me if you know anyone who works for an airline and might be willing to donate one of their standby buddy passes. Expenses here.


Please pray for my wife and me as we work through some challenges such as how best to train and educate our 4 youngest children. Reasons why we are stateside indefinitely here. 

North African Christian Parents

We recently arrived in our home state. It has been great to be with family, especially our older kids! I arrived two weeks after my family from a conference for ministry in the Arab world, in particularly ministry in North Africa. My goal for attending the conference was to begin as many friendships as possible with leaders who have influence in the lives of Arab Christian parents. I was able to talk individually with 50+ leaders for at least 30 minutes each and give them a copy of the Arabic version of Shepherding A Child's Heart.

Let me tell you about one couple from Tunisia at the conference. He is working full-time and studying theology. The mother of his wife was saved when she was young. When she saw me giving someone an Arabic copy of Shepherding, she told me, "My mom raised me and my 3 siblings by that book!" Please pray for more of these North African believing dads and moms to read the book, begin obeying the biblical principles, and share them with other parents in their countries. I will continue these relationships online from here in our home state. For almost two weeks prior to this conference, I was in Egypt, where I was able to meet with approximately 40 leaders and teach on parenting at two churches.

Returning To The US

We were planning to be in the US only for this coming summer 2018. However, we left in late-February with the option to return to Jordan at some point in the future. We are not discouraged :-) We are excited about what God is doing in our family and ministry. Here are the reasons for this indefinite return to the US, in order of priority:

1) I am trying to promote biblical parenting not only in Jordan but in the Arab world. It seems that I spend most of my time online, cultivating relationships with leaders in the region and preparing to visit them. I would like to see if I can do this online from the US, while making four trips a year for 3-4 weeks each trip, visiting 3-4 countries each trip. My biggest concern is being away from my family for so long, though I know that many of you who serve our country in the military are separated for much longer. My wife approves of the travel because we are living in her hometown. I will be intentional about connecting with the family via video chat twice daily. In future years, my wife would accompany me on some trips. We will test this traveling idea for the next 6-9 months and then decide whether or not to return to Jordan. The Jordan Baptist Convention has allowed me to keep my affiliation with them whether we are living in Jordan or America.

2) We, like so many other volunteers in Jordan, were "on hold" regarding our residency visa. I left for Egypt on Feb 10th and would not have returned until after our residency expires on Feb 25. Rather than my wife and kids traveling outside of Jordan for a few days and then returning on a tourist visa for just a couple of months before leaving for the summer anyway, we felt it was better to leave in February. Update 4/1/18: Two families who have lived there for 25+ years have told us that they are leaving also. One noted, “if one’s name is on the ‘person non-gratis’ list, this means they can never return to Jordan and possibly other Middle Eastern countries” as opposed to leaving on our own initiative and coming back for week-long visits.

3) We now have our 4 oldest children living in our home state. If I am traveling, it is better for my wife to be near her extended family and the older kids. We feel that we should be closer to our 4 oldest children during this time.

4) We have a free apartment in my wife's home town because we will invest around 10 hrs a week managing an apartment complex through a Christian organization, serving refugee families mainly from Syria and Iraq. God has answered our prayer to rent our furnished apartment in Jordan to like-minded folks. We still have the option to return at some point in the future if we think it would please God for us to do so.

We are thankful to God for two wonderful options for our family in the future, either to stay in our home state or return to Jordan. Either way, we feel very blessed. Sometimes we spend too much time thinking about “where” we are supposed to be and “when” we are supposed to be there. God is more concerned with “who” we are. He is more concerned with our hearts being satisfied in Him at any time and in any place. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Our failure to do these three things perfectly should lead us to the cross to find mercy and grace, which actually empowers us to want to be more of “who” he wants us to be.

Max Returns to KY

Nee & Max at the Dead Sea before hiking with several other families.

Max finishes his online high school and returns to Kentucky at the end of this month. He will live with my mom in my hometown of Irvine, working at a restaurant for 3 months. Mom will help him to get his required 60 supervised driving hours to get his license. Pray for her! Long-term, Max wants to enlist in the military. The structure would be good for him. We are proud that he wants to serve his country and develop some skills that will benefit him personally. Max is a loyal friend, a well-loved sibling, and thinks a lot about the welfare of others. Please pray for him as he embarks on several transitions over the next 6 months.

Christmas was great, even though we missed our 3 oldest kids in Kentucky. We attended 2 Christmas gatherings, watched older Star Wars movies, and took cookies to families of the kids who are bullies in the park beside our home. They seemed surprised!

Please also pray for residency permission for us and several other families with the Jordan Baptist Convention. The process has become somewhat complicated.

JETS Students

Petra & Heidi have so many opportunities to serve families here by babysitting.

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Merry Christmas! In a few days, I will attend a Christmas gathering at JETS (Jordan Evangelical Theological Seminary). I go there every few months to develop relationships with students and discuss with them how we can best promote biblical parenting in their countries, primarily Jordan, Egypt, Iraq, Syria, and Sudan. Since we lived in Sudan for 2 years and I understand their dialect more, I find myself spending most of my time with the Sudanese students. Here are a few of the guys that you can pray for...

1) A from Sudan- A first-year student who is missing his parents and siblings in Khartoum but it is getting better.

2) M from Egypt- A graduate who was recently and suddenly given the responsibility of overseeing the library of the seminary.

3) M&B from Iraq- Refugee brothers who graduated & recently resettled in the West. 

4) Y from Jordan- A recently married graduate who has taken on more ministry responsibilities.

5) M from Egypt- A married student who has been unable to find work for the past 3 months.

6) J from Sudan- A graduate who has returned to Khartoum to teach at an evangelical school.

Ministry Call?

Read more here about the oldest known (3rd century) purpose-built church, located in Jordan.

My role in promoting biblical parenting in the Arab world became more clear after my 12 days in Lebanon. I taught at an Arab church, attended a conference for the church of Sudan, and had individual conversations about parenting ministry with approximately 50 Arab church leaders. For now, it seems that my role is to have as many of these conversations as possible, asking leaders how they think God wants them to train believing parents, then offering suggestions if appropriate. I was able to begin the conversation further down the road with those who were able to fill out this parenting questionnaire prior to our meeting. While most of the past 20+ years of full-time ministry I have been very task-oriented, please pray that I learn how to be a faithful friend, especially to younger, up-and-coming leaders.
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I've been thinking a lot lately about a "call to ministry", either locally or cross-culturally. I don't see it in Scripture. I see a "call" to Christ. In that "calling", all believers are spiritually gifted and "called" to bring God as much glory as possible. If a believer, along with his/her church and by the Holy Spirit living within him, discerns that he can bring God the most glory by being "freed up" financially to invest most of his time serving the local church(s) through evangelism and/or discipleship, he should do so. No special "sign" is needed. This would be confirmed through a season of fruitful volunteer service, as well as through God's provision of finances through his church and other believers. If a believer discerns that his life can bring God more glory by continuing to financially support himself and others through a job while volunteering in ministry, he should continue to do so. He earns income to meet the needs of his family, to support financially those who are "freed up", and to buy himself time to expand the Kingdom himself. Neither our job nor our ministry should be our source of significance and identify. Our relationship with Christ is our significance and identify. Please ask the Lord of the harvest to send more "freed up" workers into His harvest field, especially among the unreached people groups of the world. This very short article expands on much of what I have just said using Scripture.

Preparing for Lebanon

Max spends 2 days a week using his English to serve at a Baptist School.

What do you think of when you hear "Beirut"? For many of us growing up in the 80s, we think of the 16 year-long civil war in Lebanon that killed 150,000 people. However, Lebanon now has the highest Human Development Index and GDP per capita in the Arab world, other than the oil-rich Persian Gulf countries. It is the only Arab nation that allows freedom of choice regarding religion. While one-third of the country would consider themselves "Christian", less than 1% would consider themselves "evangelical", meaning that salvation is by grace through faith in Christ alone.

I will visit Beirut for 10 days at the end of this month. I will meet with Arab pastors as well as a few Westerners involved in ministry, primarily to discuss how to promote biblical parenting. Would you ask God to use these meetings to clarify my role in training parents, as well as to strengthen Lebanese evangelical families?

Also please pray for our church here in Jordan as we make decisions regarding eldership, teaching, reproducibility, etc. Please also continue to pray for my pastor friend's relationship with his wife. Pray that both of them would be humble and clear-minded and that some older sisters in Christ would speak the truth in love to her.

Simplifying

Sometimes I get "into" something so much that I can't see the forest for the trees. For example, two weeks ago I was meeting with the wife of the president of the Jordan Baptist Convention (a pastor who just happens to be taking classes at our local seminary and comes to our city twice a year). We were talking about how to train parents at their church. As I'm telling her about my inability to overcome tech challenges, she says something like, "Well, until you get that worked out, I can create a Whatsapp or Messenger group and send the parents the first chapter of Shepherding A Child's Heart. After reading it, each of them can message the group one thing that they want to begin obeying consistently." That sounded much more simple than what I was trying to do! So here it is in English but don't blink... I will probably change it tomorrow :-\ Please pray for many conversations with pastors and leaders about training parents over the next month.

Please pray for a friend who is a pastor and his wife who are struggling in their marriage. We will begin counseling soon.

Pray for a church that is outgrowing its current location. Pray that their next steps would be highly missional and highly reproducible.

Handling Two Things Well

Click here to quiz you and your family's knowledge of Arabic cities. 

Christian ministry is primarily about handling two things well: the Scriptures and relationships. Certainly, it is important to be strategic, creative, and relevant but it is more important to "love the Lord your God with all of your heart.... and love you neighbor as you love yourself" (Mark 12:30-31). This past month I have had the joy of visiting younger church leaders from Jordan, Syria, Iraq, Egypt, Sudan, and Lebanon. During each of these visits, we primarily talked about living in Jordan, ministry, and family. Please ask God to give me wisdom how to be a good friend to these young dads and love them well.

Please also pray that God would provide volunteer or paid tech support for this project. I believe that God could use this online tool to bless many parents and counselees in this region, for His glory. Please forward this email on to anyone you think could help me create this app

I will be sending short, specific prayer requests several times each week. If you would like to receive these via email,  email me at kizfam@gmail.com and say, "I'm in!" If you would like to receive these via text, email me at kizfam@gmail.com with your cell number and provider name (Sprint, AT&T, Verizon, etc.).

The Parenting Challenge

The Parenting Challenge

Are you up for the challenge? If so, click here. "The Parenting Challenge" is training in gospel-centered, biblical parenting. Over the next few months, it will cost you about 10 hours and $10, unless you already have the book above. I created the challenge for Arab Christian parents but why not share the English version with you all? Please forward this email to parents you know who have young children.

"The Parenting Challenge" is all about learning, application, and self-initiated accountability. As I share the Arabic version here with Arab believers, I often hear, "We Arabs are not comfortable with accountability. Therefore most of us will not text our obedience points to other parents we know." I explain that resistance to accountability is less cultural and more a result of our sinful nature. We don't like to humble ourselves by asking for prayer and accountability, even if it is self-initiated. We don't like to reveal our weaknesses. But "The Parenting Challenge" is for moms and dads who desperately want to obey God when it comes to raising their kids, as well as encouraging other parents to do the same. I have been sending the challenge to 100+ cross-cultural workers and Arab leaders whom I know, asking for feedback and asking them to share the challenge with other Arab parents. Please pray that they will actually do so. Your feedback is welcomed also.

Our daughter Kendra recently got all of our family "together" online. Sam and Anna are running track. They also just returned from a trip to D.C. with my wife's parents. Max was invited to play basketball for the local Baptist school team. Heidi and Petra consistently have 2-3 weekly babysitting opportunities. Henry and Nehemiah are making lots of friends at the park, therefore beginning to understand more Arabic. My wife is homeschooling, exercising, taking our nutrition to an even higher level, staying connected to our older kids online, and being a faithful sister to ladies in our local church.

Egypt Trip

CLEAR THE ROAD! Anna has her license now! 

I just returned from Egypt. Four days in Alexandria and 5 days in Cairo. The goal was to learn from others who are doing family ministry and biblical counseling while sharing with them what I have been doing. I was able to meet one-on-one with 30+ pastors, missionaries, and ministry leaders, as well as 7 groups, one being several parents from the homeschool co-op in Alex.

Another one of those groups was 4 Christian couples who asked me questions about parenting for a couple of hours. One of the couples arrived with a 4-year-old who had just woke up from napping in the car. He was NOT happy! His father later told me that he averages 7-8 hours of sleep at night while choosing his own bedtime. We talked about that. We also talked about getting a foundation of first-time obedience through calling his name. Mostly, we talked about parental anger. This precious couple actually believed that they should express anger to prove to their child that they mean what they say.

We read together Hebrews 12:5-11 and talked about the difference between discipline and punishment. Because of God's anger, justice, and goodness, he will punish unbelievers eternally. However, He disciplines the one he loves (vs.6) for our own good, that we may share in His holiness (vs.10) which produces the fruit of righteousness for those who have been trained by it (vs.11). This is how we should train our children. Parental anger often reveals that we are punishing our children because we are personally offended by their sin.

We talked about the difference between being angry and being serious. We talked about consistency in discipline without expressing anger. Here is a practical way that has helped me to discipline our children while repenting of the temptation to be angry. Please pray that we (both Arab and American Christian parents) would be open to learning more biblical ways to raise our kids.

Please also ask God to give me wisdom regarding my role in promoting biblical counseling in the Arab world. It's fuzzy for me right now.

Refugees

As we think about refugees, let's not confuse the role of government with the role of the church. The primary role of the church is to bring God glory by making disciples of all nations, including the 7 countries listed in the recent executive order (Matthew 28:19-20). Biblically, the primary role of government is to protect people by punishing the evildoer (Romans 13:1-5, 1 Peter 2:14). I'm persuaded that the executive order is excessive and unnecessary. However, my opinion is irrelevant. More important is the fact that each of us as followers of Christ has a role to play regarding the refugee crisis in our world today. In no particular order, I would like to highlight 4 ministries for your prayerful and financial consideration.  Click either 1, 2, 3, or 4. If you would like to receive more information about any of these ministries, email me.

For the past several months I've been visiting a refugee family from Mosel, Iraq each Sunday. They have one son. Initially we talked about parenting but lately, our conversations have moved to other areas of discipleship. The husband is a young believer. He recently found out that ISIS completely ransacked the interior of his home before leaving. He was also discouraged about the executive order, saying that it is difficult for him to discern whether he should go back to Mosel or wait for relocation in the West. I showed him from 1 Thess. 4 that God's will for us is more about "who" we are (joyful, faithful, thankful) than "where" we live or "when" we move. We also talked about the need for Arab believers to return to Iraq to strengthen the church. Please ask God to give believing refugee families like his courage to make decisions based on God's glory more than personal happiness.

Also, pray for my 10 day trip to Egypt next week as I meet with others involved in ministry to Arab families, as well as visit many of the families I used to visit when we lived there in 2010.

Honor and Shame

Our frequently updated list of online family videos here. 

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Honor and shame influence our behavior in the west. However, their influence is super-sized here in the Middle East, especially when it comes to a subject as sensitive as parenting. Perhaps many believing couples genuinely want biblical advice about raising kids but, like all of us at times, are ashamed to admit their struggles. While most may confide in a relative, close friend, or a pastor, perhaps some would prefer to speak anonymously online to an expert trained in coaching parents according to scripture. These experts could help them find answers in the Bible, while at the same time encouraging them to healthy transparency and accountability within their own church community. I'm prayerfully taking steps toward developing such online parent coaching in Arabic. Would you please ask God to give me Arab partners and wisdom along the way?

Recently I summarized some of the teachings of Growing Kids God's Way and Parenting Made Practical into 3 one-page documents in English: Marriage and Parenting, Training ages 1+, and Discipline ages 3+. These are now translated into Arabic and added to my list of resources to train parents (You can see the list in English here). If any of you have questions regarding these resources, message me to arrange a time to talk via phone, Skype, Facetime, Facebook, etc.

Please pray for my wife as it was difficult for her when Kendra left after being here 6 weeks. She really misses her, Samuel, and Anna.

Southern Jordan

​Kendra took this photo when she and Max assisted w/ a CPR class to families in southern Jordan

I have been learning a lot about how to engage pastors and other leaders here in conversation about parenting ministry. There are only about 70 evangelical churches in Jordan. Most have approximately 50-100 attenders. There is only one evangelical church in southern Jordan.

Last month I was given contact information for the pastor of this church. After texting back and forth, I told him that I would eventually visit him in his southern city, which is 5 hrs from us. Well, last week when a taxi driver told me that he was a Christian, I asked him which church he attended. He told me that he does not attend church often but that his brother is the pastor of an evangelical church in southern Jordan. Knowing there is only one, I told him that I had been texting with his brother just a few weeks ago! The taxi driver had just picked up his brother from the bus station in Amman to attend a funeral. He was to return to the south the next day in the afternoon. He called his brother and we arranged a meeting for the next morning.

Like initial conversations with most pastors, we got to know each other and talked about the challenges that believing parents face here in Jordan, such as the limited opportunities for education, the influence of media, Islamic culture, etc. Please ask God to continue to use this pastor and the families of his church as a bright light in the midst of spiritual darkness. Please ask God to give me wisdom how to serve him and other leaders as they train couples in biblical parenting.

Thanks to those of you who have supported the Haddad's adoption. Unfortunately, the girls' home country refused the adoption. However, Issa and Abbi have already begun the adoption process with another agency in another country. I'll keep you updated. I met with Issa this week to help him prepare a parenting class for families in his church.

Thanks for praying for my wife's back pain. She is feeling better :-) We had wonderful Thanksgiving dinners with two different groups of families here and look forward to doing the same with Christmas. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you!

North African Family

Congratulations to our daughter Anna (w/ my wife's parents) for leading her CC team to the state meet

Last night I visited the home of a North African pastor who is studying theology here in Jordan. They have 2 kids under 5 yrs of age. Because they are not from Jordan, their social opportunities are limited. When I asked his wife what her average day looks like, she talked about cooking, taking care of the kids, and visiting a Muslim lady daily who is from her home country. His wife asked me how to get her son to do what she tells him to do. It was my first time visiting them and I had already been there for longer than an hour, so I told her that I would visit again soon and we would talk about it. As the father walked me out to the street, he told me that he thinks his wife spends too much time at the Muslim neighbor's home. She tells him that she can't just stay at home all day but he says that his son is learning bad habits from the neighbor's older kids as they pick on him. He wishes his wife would have more structure to her day so that the kids would be more obedient. As I drove away, I thought about how I first need to read and discuss with them some of the foundational principles of biblical parenting before moving on to more practical lessons.

Thanks to those of you who prayed for the completion of the parenting website in Arabic. While I was waiting, I began using a simple Google doc which I actually like better than the website, at least for now You can see the English translation here. I've visited and sent the Arabic version to more than a dozen pastors/parents over the past month. While they all say that they will do it, no one has contacted me yet. Pray that I have a healthy balance of patience, flexibility, and persistence.

Please pray also for my wife as she has been experiencing back pain that she thinks is related to prior hip pain. She is trying to continue her stretching/strengthening exercises... not exactly yoga as I had thought :-)   

Answered Prayers

Will you thank God with us? We have seen answers to many prayers in our 10 months in Jordan....

• a healthy home fellowship of other American believers 
• older, godly leaders who advise and counsel us 
• good relationships with many Arab believers, especially in our Arab church 
• an opportunity for our family to serve together for 6 months at a center for Iraqi children 
• a language helper and ministry partner, as well as time to study 
• several apps that have helped the kids learn Arabic while homeschooling 
• a vehicle 
• continued financial support from many of you 
• funds to purchase an apartment with good neighbors in a location central to friends and ministry opportunities 
• a park across from our apartment where we can exercise, socialize, and practice Arabic 
• a youth group of 50+ teenagers where our kids have made good friends 
• excellent host families and good learning/serving/working opportunities for our 3 oldest kids in KY 

All of these blessings together do not equal the blessings we have in Christ Himself. "I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." ~ Philippians 3:8. Please pray....

1. for my mom Pat as she transitions to life without my dad Jim, who went to be with the Lord suddenly after a heart attack on August 21st. 
2. for many details to be completed related to the online tool for biblical parenting in Arabic. 
3. for my wife and I to parent, as well as relate to one another, according to John 1:14 ~ "full of grace and truth".

Promoting Biblical Parenting.... Slowly

Remember the online tool for biblical parenting in Arabic I mentioned in last month's e-newsletter? After 6 months of waiting on different volunteers who have been working on it, it is still not ready. This has been discouraging to me. I don't want to begin meeting with more pastors/leaders here until this online tool is functional. However, I think I see God's hand in this. The waiting has given me time to focus on Arabic. I have been working with a tutor to correct my speaking mistakes. I realize that I have formed a lot of bad habits that I did not know about. This is humbling for me but at least I now realize it! For long-term effectiveness in the region, language is essential. The waiting has also given my wife and I time to process our recent transitions of moving and sending Samuel and Anna back to the US. Still, I'm itching to promote biblical parenting here. Would you ask God to make it happen, in His timing?

Remember the Egyptian family I mentioned in last month's e-newsletter? We had our third meeting yesterday. In the second meeting she said that while she believes that spanking is biblical, she cannot bring herself do it. Instead, she waits for her husband to come home to do it. She repented of this and says that she has begun chastising her children herself, with less yelling. I asked her if she had a flexible daily routine with the kids. Her reply was, "No... we are Egyptians!" Her children basically do whatever they want whenever they want, including meals. I told her that there are American families with no routine also, but that God wants our young children to understand that they are under authorities who know what is best for them and therefore plan their day for them. The sooner they can learn to live under authority, the easier it will be for them to accept Christ's Lordship over their lives. She agreed to try it. The husband said that he has been experiencing more victory over being angry with his kids. Please pray for this family. They seem very teachable. They are a committed Christian family who has left their country to serve God here in Jordan, where there are fewer Christians than in Egypt.

We like our new home. The park beside us has been a great place for all of us to get exercise and met others. My wife has begun homeschooling the kids. We are not sure how involved we should be with the pre-school for refugee kids. Please ask God for good ministry opportunities for my wife and the kids, especially for Max.

We Moved.... Again

We bought a house! Well, actually it is an apartment, 3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, on the 3rd floor in a neighborhood centrally located to everything in Amman. We liked living on the outskirts of town in a small community but feel it will be better for both our family and our ministry to be in town. The best thing about our apartment is that it is beside a park with a soccer field, basketball court, playground, etc. It will be a great place to meet families and for our kids to learn more Arabic.

I still have yet to meet with the Egyptian couple I mentioned in last month's e-newsletter. The wife just sent me her evaluation a few days ago. There are a few other couples I hope to meet with soon also. I have been working on an online tool for training in biblical parenting. You can see the beta version here and maybe use your browser to translate it to English. Lord willing, the site will have both the texts and audio recordings of both Shepherding A Child's Heart and The Faithful Parent in Arabic. We may add some video lessons such as these later. After each chapter, the user must submit answers to two questions: What did you learn from this chapter? How will you apply it to your parenting? These answers are automatically emailed to the user's spouse and vice versa for healthy accountability. I have hired an older Jordanian believer with lots of ministry experience to help me finalize the online tool and begin using it in conjunction with home/church visits. This brother is also Max and my language tutor. If anyone would like to learn Arabic, even via video chat, I highly recommend him. Please pray that Kamal and I would be able to discern how we can best serve born-again parents here.

Anna and Samuel have settled back into Kentucky well. Anna got her driver's permit and Samuel got stitches after taking an elbow to the eye playing basketball. Kendra is enjoying being a professional photographer. See her work here.

Samuel Returns to the US

Yesterday our 17-year old Samuel returned to our home state. Over the summer, he will resume working the part-time jobs he had before we moved overseas. He will also participate in summer league basketball practices at a local high school, where he has begun the enrollment process to attend next fall. He has a wonderful opportunity to live with the head coach and a good friend of mine. Samuel is a hard worker..... as a student, as an athlete, and as an employee. He does not draw attention to himself, yet he is a magnet for young kids, probably because he has had so much experience relating to them with 6 younger siblings. Samuel will most likely be successful at whatever he does because he is loyal, consistent, diligent, and does things with excellence. We are looking forward to seeing how God will work in and through Samuel as he leaves our home and spends the next year with another family.

The past month has been about continuing language study, initiating relationships with other evangelical leaders here, continuing facilitation of on-going ministry stateside, and spending 3 nights at the Dead Sea with my wife for our 20th anniversary :-)

Remember the Syrian brother I was counseling? He has not contacted me about having another session but tells me that he is doing well when I see him at church.  He will soon immigrate to Canada.

We bought a vehicle over the past month! Weird to be back in a min-van.

Biblical Counseling

I had my first opportunity to counsel someone in Arabic two weeks ago. It was challenging, to say the least! He is a 30-year old Syrian believer from Christian background. He has been a refugee in Jordan for about a year, along with his mother. His situation is much better that most. He lives with his sister and her Jordanian husband. He came seeking advice. He is supposed to leave for a western country in less than 2 months. However, that embassy learned that while his parents have been separated for more than 5 yrs, they are not officially divorced. So they want his father, who is still in Syria, to go with them. My friend cannot see how God might possibly be using these circumstances to reunite his parents. He only sees how it could postpone his travel, causing him frustration. We looked together at Romans 8:28-29. I assigned homework for him which he had only halfway completed when we met the second time last week. In the second session, this brother was able to express openly how frustrating it has been for him to be a refugee. As I sat there listening to him, I thought to myself, "Wow, how many Syrian and Iraqi refugees have no one to confide in and help them understand their situation from a biblical perspective." Please ask God to give this brother the diligence to complete the homework that I gave him, and that God would use it to help him overcome fear through deeper trust in Him. Please ask God to help me and my family be able to understand what Arabs are saying and be able to express ourselves in appropriate ways. Would you also listen to this teaching from David Platt about how we as believers should respond to the refugee crisis?

I'm excited to see who God will bring together next month for a day of training in biblical counseling at another evangelical church here. I asked one of the leaders in our Arabic church if I might be able to train some believers in biblical counseling by co-counseling with them. I see training laymen in biblical counseling as one aspect of promoting biblical parenting here. Would you ask God to give many Arab believers a desire to learn and serve in biblical counseling?

School in Jordan

This week Nehemiah (6), Henry (8), and Petra (10) began public school here in Jordan so that they can learn Arabic. Imagine being their age and attending a school where most of the kids are staring at you, crowding around you asking you questions in Arabic, and most of the teachers do not speak English but speak Arabic very loudly! However, we saw God's grace through a friend who helped them enroll, a special ed teacher who will give them individual attention to learn Arabic, and an English-speaking 8 yr old Jordanian girl who helped Petra overcome all the stares and attention during the first day. Plus, the school is a 10-minute walk from our home and is only 4 hrs each weekday. They will continue some homeschooling in English. Please as God to help them be secure in Him, make friends, and learn Arabic well.

Thank you for praying for our residency permit, which we received last week. Also, thanks for praying for my wife and me as we have been attending marriage counseling. It has been really good for us. We've learned some things about ourselves and each other that will help us to trust God more as we parent our kids.

Remember the Arab boy with the chair on his head in the photo of last month's e-newslettter? He is doing much better. He even wrote a note to Henry and Nehemiah telling them that he loves them! Thanks for praying.

Community Center

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"Mom" says..... The children and I have had the privilege of teaching at a small community center for Iraqi refugee children the past few weeks.  Many of them are from Christian background families from Mosel. Most of them have not been to school for a year or have no access to school currently. We have been teaching them the Bible and English since most of them will be living in an English speaking country in the future. We are thankful that the Lord has provided our family an opportunity to serve together and to share His Word. Please pray for the children and their families. Also, pray that we would continue to have good relationships with the other teachers in the community center.  We all attend the same church.

"Dad" says... By God's grace, things are going well. We enjoy living in our small community outside of the capital. Yesterday we went hiking with an Arab family and found 2 turtles and a scorpion :-\ The kids are making a lot of friends. Our older kids recently attended a dance at a Christian school. A few of us joined a local gym. I'm having some great conversations with leaders here about biblical parenting. I'm learning which resources in Arabic should be promoted and how to best serve Christian families here. My residency permit should be finished next week, which will allow us to get a driver's license, which will allow us to get a vehicle! Please pray for both the permit and the right vehicle. Also, ask God to continue to give us more clarity regarding language learning for all of us. There are many Arabic-learning options here and each member of our family has his/her own unique language needs.

Fuheis, Jordan

This is a photo from the roof of the rented home we have settled into over the past week. We love it! It is located in a primarily Catholic and Orthodox community just outside of Amman called Fuheis. It is not the same home owned by the Jordanian Christian family that we requested prayer for in our previous e-newsletter. It is bigger and less expensive! It is also within walking distance of the Arab church we have been attending. Our church has been reaching out to many Iraqi and Syrian refugee families who have come to Jordan over the past year to flee the persecution of ISIS. At our New Year's Eve party, I sat back and watched all of these families enjoying fellowship, even though most of them have not known each other for more than 12 months and many of them are still grieving the loss of their former lives in their home countries. There are many needs. There are many opportunities for us as a family to be involved. Please pray that God would give us wisdom to choose that which will bring Him the most glory. Also, pray that we would have discernment regarding how much Arabic language study each member of our family needs.

We have begun the process of applying for a residence permit through the Jordan Baptist Convention. Please pray for God's will to be done through this process.

Please also pray for my wife and I as we meet Tuesday with a biblical counselor. When she and I conflict, 90% of the time it is related to parenting, probably because 8 children means lots of decisions to be made! Perhaps our most recent struggles are not only the stress of living cross-culturally and being unsettled but also spiritual attack, since we came here to promote biblical parenting in the Arab church. We are asking God to use our time in counseling to build greater unity, consistency, and grace in our marriage and parenting. Would you pray with us?

Parenting

Parents of ISIS are strategically training their children in terror, hate, and fanaticism, as this video demonstrates. Parents of the Arab church must strategically train their children in the gospel, suffering, and unconditional love if the Great Commission is going to be fulfilled in the Arab world.

Parents, I need your help. In preparation for parenting ministry among Arab Christian parents, I need to gain experience. Would you help me by filling out this confidential parenting self-assessment and then meeting with me once for about an hour to talk about it? For those of you living far from us, phone is good, but video chat is better :-) Do you know other families that might benefit from this ministry? I need to meet with dozens of American families in English before I try to meet with Jordanian families in Arabic.

Having 8 kids doesn't mean that my wife and I know it all. It means that we've tried it all... and failed often! But all of us learn from our failures, don't we? None of us are perfect parents, but God uses each of us to sharpen and encourage one another, primarily within the context of the local church. Ever wonder why there are only two verses in the entire New Testament that speak directly to parenting? Perhaps it is because the answers to our parenting challenges are found primarily in the gospel, and how we apply the gospel to our parenting. Please pray for these conversations that I will have with parents over the next few months.

Summer Haps

We feel led by God to continue moving forward with our long-term move back to Jordan, probably sometime in early fall. More about that here.

Over the summer, I am practicing Arabic using online resources and working on some counseling certification that I will mention in the next e-newsletter. My wife is spending a lot of time with the 4 youngest kids, including an hour a day of homeschooling. One of her favorite things to do is gathering the little kids to read to them. Kendra had the opportunity to photo shoot her first wedding by herself and has a few more coming up. She will also be working at a Christian camp in New York for a month. Samuel is working on a farm in the mornings, then spending much of the afternoon working out at the local activity center. Anna is life guarding at the same activity center, babysitting, and working with horses at a local barn. Max has several jobs around town cleaning, mowing, painting, and selling his chicken eggs. Heidi has been getting some much-needed eye therapy. Petra, Henry, and Nehemiah have been swimming, making forts in the woods, jumping on the trampoline, and sleeping well at night.

We calculated that we have 45 different one-on-one relationships under our roof! You don't have to pray for each of those combinations :-) but would you pray for our relationships with each other? It can be stressful preparing to move overseas.

Financial report for April and May.

Moving Back

"Insha allah" is an Arabic phrase that means "if God wills". Our family is making long term plans to return to the Middle East sometime in the fall to promote biblical parenting among Arab Christian families. We want to take it slow, giving God time to confirm that this brings Him the most glory, and therefore is best for our family. You can read about it here.

Please ask God....
to clearly show us if our family returning to the Middle East does not bring Him the most glory.
to show us if the fall of this year is His best timing for this move.
to prepare mutually sharpening relationships for us with other families in the Middle East.

Financial report here.

Missions Videos

Over the summer I emailed several of you with a link to these missions videos that our family have enjoyed watching together and discussing. There are 7 videos, each about 5 minutes long. ​Yes, that's a lot of videos! But near to the heart of God is nearly half of the world's population who have yet to hear the gospel, and our children thoroughly understanding that. ​We want to share these videos with as many Christian families as possible to spark conversation about God's heart for the unreached people of the world.

With holidays and snow days approaching, I thought this may (or may not!) be a better time for your family to enjoy watching these videos together as a family. ​​​Some families have asked me to email or call them after one month to hold them accountable for watching the videos. Reply to this email if you would like for me to contact you. We would love to hear your family's take-aways from watching!

​Perhaps another opportunity for your family to learn about missions is to download and listen to these missions teachings ​as you travel together over the holidays.

One friend of mine thought that we were soliciting donations by sending the missions videos. Well, we are happy if you want to bless our family financially :-) but the reason we are promoting these videos is because we understand the importance of Christian parents helping their children to understand that Jesus deserves worship from all nations.

Financial report here.

Fam Update

Yep, they are growing up. Kendra (17) is wrapping up high school at home, working at a local coffee shop, and trying to start a photography business. Samuel (16) worked 30+ hours a week on two farms over the summer. Now he has begun business classes at the local tech school. Anna (14) is joining him in those two classes, while working at the same coffee shop as Kendra, as well as working with horses at a local barn. Max (13) will soon begin a trial period of helping me with the online ministry. He joins the oldest three in a weekly co op where they study history and science. Max, Anna, and Samuel have begun cross country practice, but 2 months ago Samuel sprained his ankle and recently got out of an air cast. Heidi (10) is the big sister taking Henry (7) and Nehemiah (5) to the public school just behind our house. Petra (8) is staying home with Max and my wife, who is giving her a little extra attention this year. My wife is managing everything I have just written! I'm still pecking on this computer. We are blessed to have extended family live near us, as well as a weekly community group of 5-6 families to study the Bible, pray with, and fellowship together.


Please ask God to help my wife and I as we desire to parent according to the gospel, learning how consistency and grace work together.


There are 44 separate one on one relationships under our roof! That makes for lots of dynamics! Please ask God to give each of us grace, wisdom, consideration, and lots of unconditional love.

The Beast

This past weekend we attending a family conference.  The speaker referred to TV as "The Beast".  His idea was... it destroys, it is a waste of time, it harms families.  I agree.... kinda.  We don't have a TV, but we do have a 27" computer monitor that plays Youtube videos from our iPad.  Some things are worth watching.  They edify our families.  They educate.  They take us to places we will never go.  They allow us to meet people we will never meet.  They give a homeschooling mom an hour break in the afternoon.  We've begun a list of those online videos here so that others can be blessed by them also.  Would you send me the links to any online videos that you have found to be ultra-edifying?  I may add them to the list.   

Financial report here.  

What Is God's Will For Me?

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says,  "..... for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  What is God's will for me?  Maybe verses 16 or 17 will tell me the "where" and the "when" of God's will.  Nope.  God is more concerned with "who" we are..... "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (emphasis mine)."  I am learning that joy is rooted in thankfulness.  I am learning that there is no limit to practicing the presence of God in our lives, thereby obeying the command to pray continually.

We will close on our house next week!  It's a 2 bedroom, 1 bath but it has an unfinished basement.  It's on a little more than an acre just on the edge of town.  

New Testament-Style Church

For the past 3 years our family as has been meeting in house churches. Why? It is not because house churches are more common in Sudan than America. Quite the opposite! I would like to share our reasons with the hope of persuading you to consider New Testament-style church. My purpose for writing this article is not disunity, but that we as a unified body of Christ might recover some New Testament principles that I believe will strengthen us and contribute to the fulfillment of the Great Commission. First, a little church history.

All the churches planted by the apostles in the New Testament met in homes. Church buildings did not become popular until the 4th century when the Roman emperor Constantine converted pagan temples into Christian churches. The Protestant Reformation of the 15th century saw multitudes return to biblical doctrine but Roman Catholic church practice remained to a large degree. There has always been a remnant of believers throughout the ages who have sought to obey biblical principles for the weekly gathering of the church to one degree or another.

When we trace modern church planting movements in China, India, Cambodia, etc. we find similarities to the churches planted by the apostles. We find house churches, participatory church meetings, abundant evangelism, lay leadership that springs from within, rapid reproduction of churches, and mature believers. Currently there are more house churches in the world than there are churches that meet in buildings. When we see rapid advancement of the gospel, we find house churches. This is my main reason for advocating house churches...... to fulfill the Great Commission to "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them" and teaching them to obey all that Jesus commanded as written in Matthew 28.

The strongest biblical basis for intimate church is found in 1 Corinthians 14. Nowhere else in the Bible does God give us 14 consecutive verses “commanding” (vs.37) us what to do when we gather for church. Verse 26 says, "What is the outcome then, brethren? When you assemble, each one has a psalm, has a teaching, has a revelation, has a tongue, has an interpretation.” It is a fact of church history that the churches planted by the apostles were gatherings where mutual edification, interaction, and spontaneity were the norm. It was far from being a spectator sport. The goal of the gathering was simply to “let all things be done for edification” (vs.26). It operated more like a family and less like a staged performance. Believers came to church not only asking "What can I get out of this?" but also asking "What can I give to build up the brothers and sisters here?" Someone once said, “If you tell me to do something, I probably won't. If you show me how, I might. If you involve me, I will.” When all the believers present begin to have ownership of the weekly church meeting, they mature spiritually.

Imagine going to a park to play some pickup basketball. You see one guy on the court shooting around while he has told everyone else to sit and watch him. That doesn’t fly anywhere. We, especially us men, want to play. We want a piece of the action. Don't make us come to church, sit, and listen to one man talk. An impression without an expression can lead to depression. We will grow in spiritual maturity when we are given opportunity to express what God is teaching us. Then we will be more of the husbands, dads, and friends we should be. The most obvious place to obey the Lord’s commandment (vs.37) of interactive, open church gatherings is in homes. When the gathering becomes too big and time does not permit all to participate, another house church can be planted to reach and teach more people in a new neighborhood. In China, a believer is considered to be maturing in Christ if he has a church that meets in his home.

Other reasons why we gather in homes:

*You reveal your true identity at home. Gathering in homes fosters transparency and intimacy. (Romans 12:9)

*We are obeying biblical commands to follow apostolic tradition as well as apostolic teaching. (2 Thess. 2:15 NASV)

*The Lord's Supper can be eaten as a full meal as the early church did. They looked back to the cross with the Eucharist and looked forward to the wedding feast of the Lamb with the fellowship meal. (1 Cor.11:20-22)

*There are more opportunities for believers to practice their spiritual gifts. (Romans 12:6-8)

*Authority resides in the church corporately and decisions by consensus of all the believers present are possible. (Matthew 18:17)

*Meeting in homes positions the church closer to lost family members and neighbors. (Acts 1:8)

*Currently 38% of American evangelicals listen to a sermon via podcasting each week. (Barna 5/26/08) With this phenomenon occurring, why not return the weekly church meeting to the home where we can discuss what we’ve learned throughout the week? (Ephesians 4:11-13)

*Multiple lay elders need not concern themselves with buildings and salaries, but are able to focus their attention on their relationships within the church.

*The Holy Spirit is more free to move as He spontaniously impresses something upon someone's heart during the meeting, or as He leads someone to prepare a teaching days before the meeting. (1 Cor.14:30-31)

*There is greater potential for relationships that are more community based, seeing each other more than just once a week. (Acts 2:46)

*Formality can be minimized while reverence for God can remain high.

*Intimacy fosters accountability. (James 5:16)

*Believers would be less likely to invite a non-believer to a church program and more inclined to personally speak with them about salvation. (Acts 5:13-14)

*Believers become loyal to God’s kingdom and each other, not programs and buildings.

*Each time we see the word “preach” in the Bible it always refers to something taking place outside the church….. evangelism. In a house church we teach one another and preaching is returned to it’s proper place.

*Evangelists and church planters can be supported with voluntary gifts rather than the unbiblical practice of salaried positions within the church. (Matt.10:8)

*Tithes/offerings are given to the needy instead of buildings and salaries. (James 1:27)

*Before the 1950s churches in America were not 501c3 incorporations. It is much easier for a house church to be a free church rather than the unbiblical practice of falling under the government’s jurisdiction. (Matt.22:21)

*Prayer requests can be heard and prayed for individually. (Acts 1:14)

A few objections answered:

“Our church has Sunday school classes and small groups that meet in homes. Isn't that enough?”It is definitely a step in the right direction. I’ll be the last guy to say that the traditional church model with it’s building, pastor, and denomination is “bad”. The Lord saved and discipled me in the traditional church, and He will continue to use this model to expand His kingdom. It’s not a matter of “good” or “bad”. It’s a matter of “good, better, or best”. A traditional church with home groups is better than a traditional church without them. I’m persuaded that a voluntary network of autonomous house churches is best.

During the small group, is there freedom for a believer to share a teaching, song, or testimony as the Lord leads? Do you eat the Lord's Supper as a full meal like the churches planted by the apostles? With our time, talents, and treasures do we demonstrate that we value buildings and programs more than the simplicity of the 1 Corinthians 14 church meeting? Do we feel we have simply inve$ted too much into our traditional church buildings to walk away from them? Are we more focused on how many people are coming to our church than how many believers are coming to maturity in the kingdom? There are few paid ministers who will encourage small groups to become house churches, for obvious rea$ons. It just wouldn’t make cents.

”Does it really matter how we gather as long as we are loving Jesus?”Jesus says that those who love Him will obey His commands. Do we really think that Christ would leave us without instructions about something as precious to Him as His church? A legalist exalts a rule above the principle behind that rule. Without becoming legalistic, how can we best apply biblical principles in our church gatherings?

”Wouldn't house church foster heresy?”Actually, the participation of all believers in the house church minimizes heresy. Heresy was maximized when church buildings became the norm and silenced the pew sitter. When all believers have the freedom to speak within the church gathering, teachings can be questioned and other passages of scripture can be presented. Is it possible that denominations began when pew sitters were silenced and unable to share their interpretation of scripture in regard to a certain doctrine? Can we not joyfully gather with believers who disagree with our interpretations in regard to doctrines not related to salvation? As important as many secondary doctrinal issues are, is there one greater than the unity of believers? Can we trust the Holy Spirit to give life to house churches that honor Him and to give death to those churches that do not? It is much easier for a church to die when its members have not inve$ted in its building.

”What about the guy that just keeps talking?!” A more mature believer, possibly an elder, needs to speak with him privately. The elder must learn how to use his relational influence, not the power of his position, to persuade. Could 1 Cor. 14:30 have been written with this in mind? Could it be understood that if you’ve lost eye contact with most folks that it’s time for you to wrap it up? In the traditional church where the pew sitter is silenced, his character flaws are rarely discovered, but his non-Christian co-workers know them well.

”What do we do with the children?”
Children can be taught to sit quietly. Younger children can sit on the floor and play quietly, or if needed, play in a room beside the gathering room. Flexibility is the key. We want our children to see us interacting with other believing adults in spiritual conversation and prayer. Children should learn the Bible primarily through their parents, not the weekly gathering. House church is a gathering of families.

Many of us here in the west have never questioned our church traditions because we have never experienced anything different. If you are persuaded that some biblical principles are missing from your current church experience, will you obey whatever God tells you to do? Are you more comfortable following church traditions of a 4th century Roman emperor than church traditions of the apostles?

Personally, our family’s experience with house church has been far from perfect. Maybe years from now I will not keep the same convictions about church that I have now. Above all is Jesus Christ….. His glory, His kingdom, His praise. Lord, help me to never to focus on the bride above her Groom.

Recommended reading:
http://www.ntrf.org/articles/
http://www.ptmin.org/articles/